Being Authentic While Dating

I’ve realized one thing more than ever is if you don’t follow your gut, your heart, your intuition…it will kick you down so you do. I believe we all have a path and different stepping stones to get there. However, we also all have free will. If you start to veer off that path, life has a funny or not so funny way of getting you the hell back on. If you don’t listen to your higher self aka your gut/intuition. There are other powers that be that will do it for you. Take it from personal experience it’s not always in the nicest of ways. It’s kind of a “told you so” from your spirit guides . Ps- I am trying to make this post not spiritual base and woo woo but fuck it.
For example, when I was going nowhere fast a few years ago my spirit guides did subtle things I now remember for me to change. It wasn’t until I literally was just a walking ego when they needed me to change ASAP. I got into a car accident where I hit a brick wall and totaled my car. This may sound morbid but if that didn’t happen I wouldn’t of changed. I still don’t get the hint sometimes and even when I do, I don’t always listen. You cant force feelings or your heart to feel a certain way.
I was dating someone for the last few months and it showed me that. I was very unclear on how I felt. I thought maybe over time things would change. I would go back and fourth but for the most part it didn’t. I knew the outcome yet I still stuck around. I also have a tendency to have a huge brick wall up. Than as soon as someone isn’t giving me as much attention as before, I cave. I start to shift purely for not receiving that same affection. I mean if that isn’t ego what the hell is. Needless to say it all pretty much blew up in my face and I am not surprised. It is something I knew was going to happen from the start. I don’t want to hurt people and I always stick around longer than I should.
So life will sometimes kick me in the ass so I stick to my authentic self. I did care for this person and I wish him the best. What I am trying to say is with all sorts of relationships check in with yourself and how you feel. Ask yourself am I upset about this situation because I am not getting the same attention or because I truly love or care for this person? Games aren’t fun especially when you are even doing them to not only that person but yourself. Unfortunately from a previous relationship I am still trying to end bad habits I picked up from that ex. Especially, when it comes to having the upper hand, playing mind games, putting up a front etc. It’s fair to no one and the game of games never gets won. No book, dating guru, or sometimes even friend knows your authentic self. So step away from the emotion and situation and go to the person who knows you best….YOU. If its not meant to be you truly know in your heart.